Sunday, August 10, 2008


Being always practical about most things in life, marriage for me was something which gradually happens to everyone. Some succeed at it while others dont. I had never associated its success or failure with words like fate, destiny or planets & stars. To me marriage was an association of two individuals wherein with the exchange of garlands they exchange vows to adjust. For me adjustment was the one & only vow which made up or broke a marriage.

I was born in a middle - class marathi family way back in 1930. Yes, you have calculated my age right. I am indeed 77 today. I was born at Dhamangaon, Yavatmal. It was where I completed my school. I was the only girl child in my family to complete my SSC & yet again the only one to pass it with a whopping 39% ( yes 39% was a score worth celebrating in our days for girls never went past their 4th or 5th class). I was by no means a brilliant kid. But yes, hard - working I was!!

After my SSC my family which included my mother & 2 younger brothers ( we were total 11 siblings, the rest had married & were settled in various places all over Maharashtra) migrated to Pune where we stayed at Gadre wada, Sadashiv Peth. It was here that my mother knew stability after a long while. Our family had been surviving on the poverty line for many years after my father gave up his job as an engineer ( we were a family of geniusses). Leaving my family behind I left for Mumbai where I found work in Sachivalay. This was also the place where my elder sister lived with her family. And yes, this was also the place where I found my destiny!

I had always been the black sheep of the family. Someone who was considered a bit too very modern for her own good. My practical outlook towards all things in life was my biggest asset but to many it represented what "over-education" could do to a girl. WhenI announced I had no intention of marrying for I needed to look after my mother & didnt trust my brothers to do that I shocked the hell out of everyone including my mother. My only demand from my suitors was they assure to take care of my mother. Something which surprisingly no one agreed to. And hence days passed into years till finally I was 30.

I met him by chance. The year was 1960. I was 30, a senior citizen in those days as far as marriage was concerned. We met through common friends. He had been born in Bhusaval. Working for the Central Excise my would - be - husband was the ideal "talk,dark,handsome". He was someone who had an aura about him. Someone whom no words could ever do justice. You had to see him to believe that good looks, humility, kindness & modernity of thoughts could be found in a single person. He was someone who made me extremely proud. He was also the only one who suggested before I could voice my concern for my mother that she come & stay with us. I guess that was the moment he won me over.We married in a court on 22nd January 1961. My mother & husband went on to become the best of friends & surprisingly the last person she talked to before her death was my husband.

Married life wasnt entirely a bed of roses for me. There were conflicts, diffrences of opinions.But the mutual love & understanding which we shared was indeed one of a kind. This sort of love cant be felt by 2 individuals for each other within the short span we spend on this Earth. That love is something which was before our very existence, something which is today with us & something which will continue till the end of time itself. This love we feel for each other can never be broken by things as ordinary as death. For this is what we old guys refer to as "saata janmachya gaathi". Its the same thing which you would refer to as orthodox thinking. But I dont blame you. For this has to be experienced to be believed. Your non - belief is proof that you havent experienced it as of yet. Wishing you luck with your married lives. I hope you too find your soul-mates as I did mine. For marriages are indeed made in heaven..........

1 comment:

Gauri said...

hi shruti,
you are a wonderful writer!!!keep it up!!